Fredrick Fatface.

I thought I'd share a poem to cheer you up.
Here it is.

There once was a man, named Fredrick Fatface,
Who wore smelly  tweed,
and a cuff of white lace,
and who never could find,
to his mother's despair,
a lovely thin wife,
who would brush his sad hair,
and sew him a coat,
and clean up his lace,
and make a good man
of poor Fredrick Fatface.
- abbinaomi

Now, on that happy note, I will leave you.